Lean on Me
by Pyro44
Summary: Portman has kept many secrets from the Ducks. But when his past resurfaces, can the Ducks help him through it?
1. Prologue Chicago

Prologue-Chicago

"Who in the world could that be?" my sister Bryn shouted from the sideline of our two-on-two street hockey game. She pointed to a black car that at just pulled into the driveway.

"I hope it isn't another 'perspective parent,'" scoffed David.

"I hope so too, but who else would come visit us on a Wednesday afternoon?" asked Chris.

"Maybe it's another one of those fancy scouts," Nate said dramatically, waving his arm in the air, "here to whisk Portman off to far, far better things than our humble street."

Everyone laughed but me. "Dude, that wasn't funny. There is no way that could happen again. I'll be stuck here forever, just like the rest of you," I explained. Little did I know, I was wrong. My mind drifted off to my friends in Minnesota. Nate's big mouth reminds me so much of Averman and Russ. Fulton had been writing to me but hadn't in a couple of weeks. Something must be up. It turns out that Eden Hall is full of problems, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.

"But Dean, you shouldn't be here, and you definitely aren't stuck here," Bryn started. Ever since I turned down that stupid scholarship, she's been bugging me to reconsider. She refuses to accept that I am her big brother who is only doing what is best for her. I just can't hide how much I miss my friends. She knows that I miss everything from my best friend to the only cake eater I can put up with to the girls who I would love to introduce to Bryn.

The five of us entered the house and began to take off our skates. Then Ms. Johnson, who runs this place walked out of the living room.

"Who's here?" questioned Nate.

"That is none of your business. You all need to go upstairs and get started on your homework," she ordered. We started upstairs. "Dean, you need to come with me." I really hate that phrase. I haven't done anything that could call for police, a DHS checkup, or anything else. So it must be a parent who I really wasn't interested in impressing.

I sure was not in the mood for dealing with a perspective parent. I decided to play the obnoxious, tough guy that usually scares off anyone thinking about adopting. "What's up, Sarah?" I asked as I collapsed lazily on the coach. We aren't suppose to call Ms. Johnson by her first name. To my surprise, she turned and left the room. She didn't even glare at me; I'm confused. I still hadn't looked at the visitor.

"The two of us need to talk," the visitor said. I knew that voice. I sat up straight and turned to look at him. I had to be hallucinating. I wasn't.

"Coach Bombay! What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Like I already said, we need to talk," he repeated. I really did not want him here. None of the Ducks, minus Fulton, knew anything about my messed up life. Fulton wouldn't even know if he hadn't cornered me late one night in L.A. I really wanted to keep it all a secret. I can deal with my life, but I can't take pity, especially from my friends. So, I did not want to talk, and let that show.

"I'm listening," I said, making my irritation obvious.

"Okay, I'll skip the pleasantries," he said in a tone that matched mine. Which is a very scary sound. No wonder he is a lawyer. "Why didn't you accept the scholarship to Eden Hall? And don't give me any crap about not wanting to play hockey anymore because I saw you out there or about not playing for anyone else because you've played for others before and could just as easily do it again. Just so you know, I didn't even let Charlie get away with that one."

Dang, I even had Fulton buying the I don't want to play for anyone else excuse. He definitely meant business. He sure knows how to limit a guy's options. I'm positive that if I don't tell, Sarah will or Bryn will find out he's here and tell.

"Did you see that girl out there?" I began. Might as well get this over with. He nodded for me to continue. "That's my little sister Bryn. My mother left us on the doorstep of an orphanage when I was five. I'm all Bryn's got. I've raised her since she was four. We're in and out of foster homes every few months. You have no idea what I've been through. And I don't want your sympathy either. That's why I'm here. I don't even know my father's name and you want me to go and 'mingle' with Minneapolis high society! It won't happen!"

I sank back into the couch, gasping for breath. Memories of my past flooded back to me, the parts nobody but Bryn knew. I had tried to keep my voice level, but emotion just kept creeping in. Coach Bombay waited a minute before speaking. I guess to let me calm down. I caught my breath and pushed back the thoughts that I swore to my self would never be told. I stared at him. I couldn't believe that I had let myself go off like that. He isn't going to want anything to do with me now. I should have known that talking to him was a bad idea. However, I do feel better knowing that somebody knows a little bit of it. I'll just have to live with his reaction.

"I knew it had to be something serious to keep you from Eden Hall. This, however, is more than I expected. Have you told any of the Ducks?"

"Yeah, Fulton kinda forced me to tell him when we were in L.A. Other than that, no." Well, to be honest, Fulton knows what I just said, not the rest of it. That part would definitely scare him away I thought.

"I think your underestimating their friendship. They are your friends; they'll like you no matter what."

"I don't want their pity."

"Pity from that group? I can't see that happening either. Do you know what kind of lives they have? You would be surprised at what your teammates have been through." I looked at him skeptically. Other than Fulton, I figured they all had nice middle class _Leave It to Beaver _type lives. Well, minus Adam, who definitely had lots of money and other great material belongings. "I'm not going to spill their life stories, those are for them to tell. You shouldn't judge them before you give them a chance."

He stopped talking with that. I thought about what he said. He was right about me not giving them a chance. I guess I was scared to lose their friendship because it means so much to me. Yes, I know, it's weird that I, Dean Portman, can be scared. "Well, as great as those words are, what can I do about it now that I never see them?" I doubted he had an answer to that.

"I have an idea. What if Bryn came to Eden Hall? You would come then, right?"

"I guess, and Bryn would love the opportunity. She can't understand why I haven't gone already. How in the world could that happen though? We don't have any money and she doesn't play any sports."

"There are scholarships for stuff other than sports. Let's start with what grade is she in?"

I love this question. A smile crept across my face. "She's a freshman because she skipped the fifth grade," I announced proudly. Now some would be embarrassed that their younger sister was in the same grade as them, but I was too proud to be like that.

"She skipped a grade?" Coach repeated wide-eyed.

"Yep, the entire fifth grade."

"That's it Portman. That's the answer," he said excitedly.

"What do you mean?"

"I can convince Dean Buckley to give her an academic scholarship to Eden Hall. It's extremely hard to earn one, but I think Bryn should qualify."

"Really? We could both move to Minnesota?"

"Why don't you go get Bryn while I call the Dean right quick."

I ran up the steps two at a time. This was like a dream come true. I sure hoped it worked.

"Bryn! Bryn!" I shouted as I burst into her room where I knew she'd be studying.

"Whoa! Slow down Dean! What's up? Who's here and what did they want?"

"Coach Bombay's here. He wants me to go to Eden Hall."

"Right, are you finally going to listen to me?"

"Shh! Just listen. Here's the deal. He's going to try and get you a scholarship too. He's calling the Dean right now."

"Are you serious? Let's go," she said grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the room and down the stairs.

Coach Bombay laughed when we entered the living room.

"Dean Buckley said he would love to grant an academic scholarship to a hardworking young woman who skipped the fifth grade."

"Are you serious?" Bryn asked. "I'd love to go to Eden Hall. I'll take anything they offer."

"Well, they're offering a full ride for the next four years. But there is one little catch."

"Oh no," I said as I sat back down on the coach. "That is never followed by good news."

"Don't worry Portman; I don't think it's that bad. It's just that Bryn's scholarship won't go into affect until the next term."

"Which means what?" I asked.

"She can't start school until January."

"That's all? Dean just has to be up in Minnesota by himself for two months until I can be there. Think you can take of yourself for that long, without my help, Dean?"

Coach Bombay laughed. I smiled at her. "Cute, real cute. I think I might be able to manage, just maybe."

"Of course you can. Oh, I'm Coach Bombay by the way." Coach said, offering Bryn his hand. I guess I forgot to introduce them.

"Oh, yeah, I recognized you. I'm Bryn Portman," she said, shaking Coach's extended hand.

"Well, Portman, what do you say? The Ducks could really use you on Friday against the Varsity."

I sighed. Bryn seemed to think this was perfect. I knew she deserved the best education. However, I had one last concern.

"How do we get to and from Minneapolis and what are we to do during vacations?" Bryn looked at me like I was insane. "I'm just trying to cover everything," I told her holding my hands up defensively.

"It's alright," Coach told Bryn. "That is a very good question. Portman, you can fly back with me on Friday. Bryn, I'll pay for you to fly up as soon as you get out of school for Christmas vacation. As for where you guys can stay, you know seven people who live in Minnesota who I'm sure would let you stay with them."

He had a good point there. If I went to Minnesota, Fulton would definitely let me stay with him.

"Are you done playing the devil's advocate? Can you just go find your scholarship and sign it for me? Please Dean." She looked at me with her puppy dog eyes, the ones that I can't say no to.

"Fine, I guess we can go to Eden Hall."

"Yes!" she squealed as she fell into my lap and gave me a hug. "This is our big break. I love you Dean!"

"Thank you, I know I'm just the greatest big brother in the world." She sat up and hit me for that. Maybe I deserved that.

***********************************************************************

The next day, Coach Bombay and I went up to my current public school and withdrew me. I ignored the looks of glee the secretary and assistant principal exchanged after eavesdropping on our meeting with the principal. I don't know what their problem is. It's not like they ever caught me doing anything against the rules. They think I'm the stupid Portman, but I was smart enough not to get caught. Anyway, I would not have to deal with them anymore.

Then, we went down to the DHS office and met with mine and Bryn's social worker. We had to fill out a bunch of papers. I've never written my name so many times.

That night, I packed. That didn't take very long since I don't own very much. I just threw my clothes in my old suitcase and put my skates and other hockey stuff into my gym bag. The only thing left was my various hockey memorabilia, i.e. my gold medal, pictures of L.A., etc. that sat on my dresser.

Bryn came in from school as I shifted through the stuff. I still needed to say goodbye to her. She would be at school when I left in the morning.

"That's my favorite one," Bryn said, pointing at the team photo taken right after the championship game that I held in my hand.

"Here, why don't you keep hold of it for me?"

"But it's your picture."

"I'm going to be seeing these nutcases everyday. I don't need a picture of them to look at everyday. You keep it so you remember me."

"As if I could ever forget you. It'll only be two months." She thinks she's so funny.

"Well, I still want you to keep this for me. Oh, and this," I said, handing her my medal.

"You can't be serious. You love that thing. You're always taking it out and admiring it around your neck."

"Don't be silly. I don't have any room for it in my bag." I pointed to my stuffed suitcase. Really though, it only seemed full because I hadn't actually folded my clothes.

"Alright," she said giving in. She put my medal around her neck and left the room. I think she just didn't want to cry in front of me. If she hadn't left when she did, I would have, because I sat down on my bed and cried. Now, I'm not normally so emotional, but Bryn and I are extremely close. I stayed in my room the rest of the night.

I slept in until nine o'clock. Coach Bombay was picking me up at 10:00. I took a nice long shower, since I never get because someone else always needs in the bathroom. When I exited the bathroom, I was shocked to find Bryn standing there.

"Why aren't you in school?"

"Did you think I would let you leave to another state for two months without spending every last minute with you?"

I was touched, but…"We said goodbye last night. You need to be in class," I said as I pushed past her and went into my room.

"I called in sick. Nobody's gonna check with Ms. Johnson to see if it's true."

"You shouldn't skip class."

"I think I can afford to miss a day, especially under the circumstances. You had no problem with me skipping a grade. Why is a day any different?"

She had a point. Sometimes, like now, it is very aggravating to have such a smart little sister. She just can't accept that I am older and always know what's best for her and she should just follow my instructions. Then again, I did want to spend as much time as possible with her before I leave.

"Before you start pulling the 'I'm older and you should follow my rules' card, you should know that I fixed breakfast: banana pancakes and bacon," she announced.

She really knew her way to my heart, or well stomach. She knew that was my favorite breakfast. I quickly stuffed the clothes I slept in into my suitcase and hurried downstairs. The doorbell rang when I reached the living room.

"I'll get it," I yelled. I answered the door. "Hi Coach."

"Good morning, Portman. You ready to go? I thought we could grab some breakfast before the flight."

"I am ready, but Bryn's cooked something already."

"Shouldn't she be at school?"

"That's exactly what I said, but she started off with if I can skip a grade, I can skip a day thing."

"Ah, smart girl. What did she cook, and is it any good?"

"She is a very good cook and she fixed my favorite: banana pancakes and bacon."

"Sounds delicious. I'd love some."

"Well then, get in here and eat up," Bryn announced from the doorway between the living room and kitchen. The three of us ate every bit of the delicious breakfast. I feel for anyone who hasn't tasted Bryn's pancakes.

After we finished, we loaded my bags into the rented car. I closed the trunk and took a deep breath. Coach got in the car. This was it. I looked down at my sister. I could tell she was struggling to hold back tears. I pulled her into a hug.

"I'll call as soon as I can. And write everyday. Christmas will be here before you know it," I said for her benefit as well as mine.

A muffled "I know, but I'll miss you until then." came from my chest. I stood there clutching her for a few minutes. Then I let go and tilted her head up.

"Don't get into any trouble while I'm gone," I ordered, "I don't want to have to hitchhike back here."

"I know-I can do anything I want as long as I plan ahead and don't get caught." She mimicked. She gave me a faint smile. I taught her so well. I returned her smile.

"That's right…I love you Bryn. I'll see you in December." I gave her one last quick hug.

"Bye Dean."

I got into the car. I watched her fade away in the side view mirror. No one talked on the way to O'Hare.

When we got to O'Hare, we returned the car, checked our luggage, and boarded the plane. Then, the captain announced that some hydraulic ring thing needed to be replaced. This would delay the flight about an hour. He said we could get off the plane and get some lunch, but we were still full from breakfast. I had faith in the airplane mechanics, but one thing weighed on my mind.

"We still gonna be able to make the game?"

"I don't know, probably."

Nothing I could do if we didn't. I dug out my worn-out abridged copy of _Les Miserables _from my carryon bag and I started reading. Then I noticed Coach Bombay staring at me funny.

"What?" I asked.

"You're going to read _Les Miserables_?"

I really hate questions like that. I know I'm not the smartest Portman, but I can read. I actually enjoy it too. All so shocking, I know. I decided to be patient with my uninformed coach.

"No, I'm rereading _Les Miserables _for the third time." He looked surprised, ha. "It's my favorite book. Bryn gave it to me for my eleventh birthday, saying I quote, 'you can relate to Jean Valjean's struggles with life.'" That impressed him. "Adam, Averman, and Julie aren't the only ones who can read a book and enjoy it," I smirked.

"I'm sorry. I know you can read. I'm just surprised that you would select _Les Miserables _on your own without it being assigned for school." He went back to his paperwork. At least he thinks enough of me to apologize. That's nice, but I guess I can cut him some slack since I wasn't the best student for Ms. McKay. I usually try to get good grades so I set a good example for Bryn. She wasn't in L.A. with us, and the Ducks can be very bad influences.

It took two hours to get the plane in the air. We were going to be late. The flight took an entire hour and a half, and it took forever to get our luggage. They could have at least flown faster to make up for the late start. You can't get a speeding ticket in a plane.

However, Coach Bombay felt the need to not risk getting a ticket in the car ride to Eden Hall. Naturally, I had to ask why the caution.

"Because I can't get another ticket," he answered.

Why would a big shot lawyer like him be worried about a little speeding ticket? I'm sure he has enough money to pay it. Wait, did he say another?

"What do you mean 'another ticket?'" I asked.

He bit his lip. "Don't worry about it. Just start thinking about your game." Wow, Coach has a hidden secret. He's had run-ins with the law? I definitely need to investigate. I wonder if Fulton knows.

We ran into the ice rink. The second period had just ended. I watched my teammates trudge slowly into the locker room. For a tie game that they were supposed to be killed in, they sure looked dejected. I stopped in front of the door, not sure if I wanted to follow my teammates in there. I set my bag down. "They won't want me back."

"Look at this from a coach's perspective. Did you not just see them? Varsity is physically overpowering them. They're going to need something or someone to get them through this last period. You're it. Remember what we always say: Ducks fly together. Now, get in there and put your skates on. I'll see you on the ice," he said as he walked away to find a seat in the stands. I guess he thought I would just walk in now.

But I still had doubts. I pulled out my scholarship. I read it quietly to myself. If this preppy place wanted me, why won't my friends and teammates welcome me back. I sighed. "Only one way to find out, Dean," I said to myself. I began to reread the scholarship louder and more enthusiastic as I banged open the locker room door.


	2. Between Bash Brothers

In my somewhat struggle to post, I forgot a disclaimer, so here it is: I do not own the ducks. If I did I would auction them off, so I could pay for college. And the title comes from the song by Bill Withers. This is my first time to post a story, so please review. Thank you everyone who has already reviewed. I love you all. The timeliness of this chapter is thanks to you. Now for shout-outs:

Missa32189-You are my first ever reviewer! I will always remember you now. I was looking for different, so I'm very happy that's what you thought.

AngelMerryElve-Here's your next chapter. Hope you like it.

Rubix the cube-I'm so glad you like this.

Christie-Hope this update is soon enough.

LJ-I get what you're saying about the scholarship, but consider this. Bombay seems to have Buckley wrapped around his little finger, so when he called, he could have used some nice lawyer talk that Portman didn't hear and convinced him to give her the scholarship. Besides, I always thought that giving an entire team scholarships to the same school was a bit much, but we get over that. As for Portman's problems, they will not center around his sister, just wait 'til the end of this chapter.

AntiIrony-I'm not a big fan of slash either, so I won't write it. I have an idea for a duck to fall for Bryn, but I haven't decided for sure on it. You'll have to wait to see who. I hope I don't lose your interest, but Julie's going to be with Scooter for now. Not sure about later yet, hadn't thought about it.

That first chapter was just a prologue. We are now skipping ahead to December and the infamous final exam time. Now for the chapter you've all been waiting for.

Between Bash Brothers

At the end of the hallway with all our dorms is a common room, complete with two couches, a television, a VCR, and a telephone. This is where we, all the male Ducks found ourselves wasting time before studying for our upcoming final exams. But don't get me wrong, we have been studying very hard. See, some people thought that they could slack off now that hockey season was over with. However, Coach Orion said that anybody who didn't keep up their B or above grades for the rest of the year would not play in the first five games next season. So, we were all studying our brains out to get B's. Lucky for us, between the thirteen of us, we had at least one person who was really good at a subject. Then, they shared the knowledge with everybody else.

Although right now we were taking a short break and listening to Charlie's phone conversation with his mother. We probably shouldn't be, but the changing expressions on his face were so funny to watch.

"He's going where?" Charlie asked. We assumed 'he' meant his stepfather. "I don't hate him, I promise I don't. He's the one who doesn't like me." Definitely stepfather. "Proof! You want proof! I'm going to be home for two weeks and he is going to be gone the entire time. Don't tell me he couldn't visit his sister that he just saw at Thanksgiving at his parents' house during the month I've been away or after I've gone back to school." Ouch, Charlie's ranting. Hope he doesn't explode. "Okay, you're right I won't miss him. Because he avoids me every chance he gets." Very true. The man went and visited his parents for Thanksgiving. Charlie hasn't seen him since he moved to the dorms in August.

"What do you mean guest?" Charlie's expression softened. This is the part I wanted to hear. Coach Bombay had arranged for Bryn to fly up as soon as her school let out. Since the Moreaus were going skiing in Maine with the Gaffneys and the Reeds had no more room, she was staying at the Conways. Casey had been instructed to not tell Charlie she was my sister. "Why would a preppy girl want to stay with us instead of her family?" I stifled a laugh. Bryn and preppy don't mix. "Coach Bombay?" pause "Scholarship?" another pause "Roommate?…Sure I'll tell them. Bye Mom." He hung up the phone.

We all tried to appear to be doing something else other than eavesdropping. Averman didn't get the hint, though. "So, what's up at the Conway household?" Before Charlie could even glare at him, Connie and Julie came in looking confused and upset.

"You guys will never guess what Dean Buckley just told us," Julie announced.

"You're getting a new roommate," answered Charlie. The girls unfortunately were in the dorms that held three people per room, which is why Bryn could move in with them.

"How'd you know?" asked Julie.

"She's spending the break at my house. Coach Bombay knows her wants her to get to know us before school starts. Since you two are gone, my mom volunteered our house."

"Oh, doesn't it suck to be you," Russ said.

"Stop it Russ," Julie ordered. "This is serious."

"Yeah, why would they stick someone we don't know in with us?" Connie questioned.

"Don't label me the devil's advocate," Adam started. This should be interesting. "But what if the Dean thinks he can put some like rich hippie or radical abstract artist or something else really weird in with the female hockey players. That way none of the preppies have to deal with either one."

I was ready to burst out laughing. Connie and Julie groaned. Everyone else began telling their own thoughts on the new girl. I knew this would continue until our finals were mentioned, so I decided to leave. Fulton and Ken followed me back to mine and Fulton's dorm. I fell on my bed as I cracked up laughing.

"How long do you plan on keeping up this charade?" Ken asked.

"Don't know," I answered after I had stopped laughing. "Bryn doesn't want everyone to pretend to like her because I threatened them. I told her that was impossible, but she refused to listen. I mean, our dear captain can't even make us pretend to like Linda." 

"Very true. Is she arriving before I head west?"

"No, her plane gets in Friday morning."

"Bet you're excited."

"Yep." I was ecstatic. "This will definitely be the best Christmas we've ever had." I was also glad Ken found out and understood. 

It seems that we've corrupted sweet little Ken to the point of no return. Averman used Ken's math skills to hack into the school computer system. In return, Averman had to teach Ken how to hack. Ken was taking a look at our personal files when he learned of my sister coming. When he asked me about it, I figured I might as well tell him. He is my little bash brother after all.

We decided to study algebra since Ken was with us. He was like a human calculator. He left about nine. Fulton and I went to bed feeling like we could solve linear equations in our sleep.

**Later that night**********

I found myself walking down a deserted alley. I heard Shane's voice calling me from the end of the alley. "Dean, Dean. You shouldn't be here Dean. Go back now. Bryn needs you. Turn around Dean." I tried to turn around, but couldn't. I continued down the alley. I kept going towards the voice. A gunshot rang out. I began to run towards Shane. "Dean, run before they get you." 

"I can't leave you here."

"Yes you can, Dean, you must." I finally reached him. I looked down to see blood pouring from his chest. "I'm not going to make it, Dean. You take care of yourself now."

"No Shane, you're going to be alright." I fell to the ground and placed my hand over the bullet hole, trying to stop the bleeding.

"No Dean I'm not. Dean…" 

"Shane! No! Shane, Shane!" I screamed.

"Dude, wake up, wake up" I heard Fulton say. "Are you alright?"

I sat up, surprised to find myself in the familiar surroundings of my dorm room. I took some deep breaths, trying to regain control of my senses. That dream had seemed so real. I guess because that was how it had happened. I turned to find Fulton standing beside my bed looking concerned.

"Oh man, did I wake you?" I asked. Got to play this cool, Dean.

"Don't worry about it. The real question is are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost." In a way I did.

"I must have been dreaming"

"Both of us were up until a few minutes ago. You obviously weren't dreaming of about a girl or hockey glory. You want to share?"

Not really. "It's nothing. Really don't remember. Must have been too much studying."

"If you say so," he said, but I could tell he wasn't convinced. He made his way back to his bed. "Who's Shane then?" Why'd he have to ask that? No one needs to know about Shane or what happened to him. Bryn doesn't even know how much I saw.

"I don't remember." Why'd I just lie to my best friend?

I laid in bed thinking about why I had to dream about that awful night now. I hadn't had such a nightmare in years. I thought that was all behind me.

I was dressed and ready to go before our alarm went off at 6:30 the next morning. I waited for Fulton to get ready. It wasn't until we were making our way to the cafeteria that Fulton mentioned my nightmare.

"Did you have that dream again?"

"No." Because I didn't go back to sleep.

"It's pretty weird that you would just scream some random name in your sleep." Why must he continue to fish for information I don't want to share?

"What happened in his sleep?" Ken asked as he came up from behind us.

"I had a dream last night and woke up screaming. That's all," I answered before Fulton could go into detail.

"Did you know the Chinese believe that every dream means something and contains a message for us, like something that is to come or advice on something. Tell me what it was about and I'll try to analyze it for you."

Tempting idea, but I don't feel like sharing. But that was an interesting idea. Was the dream some kind of omen? Was something bad about to happen to Bryn or me? I really don't want to have to go back to not sleeping. I wish I could bring myself to tell Ken.

Fulton had other ideas. "He wasn't just screaming. He was yelling 'Shane' over and over."

"Do you know any Shane's?" Ken asked. Yes, but I can't tell you. That would be too painful. I really needed them to stop asking questions.

"He said he had no idea who it was. Think there's some hidden meaning in the name?" Fulton said. Glad I didn't have to lie again.

"That's really odd. Maybe you're going to meet someone named Shane today." Ken shrugged.

If I didn't say anything, they'd never drop it, and I really needed them to. "Maybe, that must be it. All this studying must have screwed up my subconscious. Can we keep this between the three of us? I don't want everybody thinking I've lost my mind or anything."

"Sure," they both said. I hoped this nightmare was a one time thing. I'm not sure I can handle these again. I did not need Bryn finding out about this.


	3. Random Conversations

I've finally got around to updating again! Yeah me! Hopefully I can get a system of when to update going on, but things are just so busy right now with graduation, etc. Anyway, I finally get write a bit more of all the Ducks (who I still don't own) into the story. I do own the Portman family that I will be creating and any other random people I need to create for the other Ducks' families though. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and reviews it. Shout outs:

Diego-I'm not big on slash either. That's part of why I'm writing this story. Not that I have anything against those that do write it. I just don't prefer it. Hope you continue to like it.

Phenioxfire-I'm so glad you thought it was deep. As for Shane, you'll find out a little bit about him in this chapter.

LJ-I can understand your concern about original characters. In this story, I'm only going to create a few family members who are all complete figments of my imagination. They form the background that I need for Dean's past. The action of the story will focus on the original characters.

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Chapter 2: Random Conversations

One more final, just one. Praise the Lord. I don't think I could take more anymore than that. Even better was the fact that it was Spanish. Eden Hall required all students to take two years of a foreign language. I chose to take Spanish. I kind of enjoyed it. I know some Hispanics, like Luis, so now I know what their saying. I know I can use this in the real world, unlike worthless algebra. Some don't like the foreign language requirement, though.

The school refused to let Luis take Spanish, and he was still a little mad about it. They also wouldn't let Guy take French, since his parents are from Quebec and already taught him the language. His name was a dead giveaway. Right now, we, the Spanish study group, have traded Guy for Luis, so both groups can get expert help on their speaking. And we all needed serious help in this area. Luis was about ready to cuss us all out for 'butchering his native tongue.'

"Escucha y repete. El perro es alto," Luis said to Charlie. Charlie couldn't roll his r's, and somehow he managed to screw up any sentence that contained rr. Charlie's repeating got us all laughing. He frowned in mock hurt. I could tell he was trying to think of a way to redeem himself.

"You could at least finish the rest of the sentence correctly," Luis said, frustrated.

"I really am sorry, Luis. Yo estoy embarazada. " Now, we didn't know if Luis was going to expect this apology or not. However we did not expect him to crack up laughing.

"Luis, what is so funny?" Ken asked.

We got a "Charlie…such an…idiot." Luckily, Ken had already started to look up what Charlie said. When he found something, he cracked up laughing and passed the dictionary to me. Turns out embarazada really means pregnant. I passed the book on around the room. It conveniently skipped Charlie though. We all laughed.

"You had better tell me what's so funny right now," Charlie ordered.

"I have to know something first," Averman began, "Have you told Linda yet?" Charlie looked confused and angry.

Luis answered for him. "Probably not, since she isn't the father." We all laughed harder. Then Dwayne finally took pity on our captain and handed him the dictionary.

"That's it. This study session is over," Charlie announced as his face turned a beet red. Not long after he stormed out, Guy and Fulton came in.

"What did you all do to my roommate?" Guy asked.

"We didn't do anything," answered Averman.

"Yeah, it isn't our fault he said something crazy," said Russ. "It's definitely official now. Charlie is an idiot no matter what language he speaks."

"Man, I missed everything," Guy complained, "What did he say?"

"Charlie es embarazada," replied Luis.

"So, what happened to make him so embarrassed?" said Fulton, still confused.

"Embarazada means pregnant," explained Dwayne. "And now I'll be leaving. I've had enough laughs for one night. Buenas noches, ya'll." With that, everyone left my dorm. Ken stayed to help us pick up before bed. Now, neither Fulton or I are clean freaks, but we draw the line at leaving popcorn to rot under my bed.

"You want the dictionary back in your desk?" Ken asked. I tied up the trash bag in my hands.

"Yeah."

"This your sister?" I turned and looked at him. Nobody was to find those pictures. I didn't have time to bury them last time I looked at them. I needed to play this cool. Fulton and I went and gazed over Ken's shoulder.

"Bryn gave me that mug shot before I left for LA."

"And who's this?" He switched pictures.

"That's Bryn age four and that's me age five."

"Ah," Fulton sighed, "if it isn't cute little Portman." I elbowed him.

"What about these other people?" Ken went to the last picture. The one taken right before the other one. The one with my entire family together. Act cool, Dean, I commanded myself.

"Don't really remember. I was only five at the time. Met so many random people over the years, it's hard to remember everybody." They seemed convinced that the other four people weren't important. Ken handed the pictures to me.

"You know, it's nice to know that you were once a sweet, innocent little kid like the rest of us," Ken joked.

"Yeah, just don't spread it around," I warned.

Ken left and Fulton hopped in the shower. I heard the water running. This left me alone with my thoughts as I climbed into bed. I thought back to my nightmare from the other night.

This is the only photo with all the Portmans together. The five-year-old seems to stare happily at me. How could I have been such a naïve little boy? To think that we were a big happy family.

Bryn was sitting on my mother's lap. I really don't remember my mom that well. I stood proudly next to them. Behind us were the three people that I wish I could also forget. The only person left that even knows they exist is Bryn. I haven't even told Fulton.

They are my older brothers. Lane was the oldest; he was adopted away from us when I was nine. Shane's next to oldest; he was killed when I was eleven. Shawn's serving a sentence at the Illinois Youth Center Chicago. He should be out soon, right before he turns eighteen this year. I have been refusing to write to him since he called me spoiled, preppy, and a few other things after I got back from LA. I haven't even told him that I'm in Minnesota.

I tucked the pictures under my mattress as Fulton reentered the room and hopped into bed. "A few tunes to sleep by?" he asked.

"Of course" I laid down and drifted off to sleep with the music not as loud as we would like. (The dean did not appreciate 'loud' music in the dorms, especially at night.)

The Next Morning

"Charlie, are you sure that big bowl of cereal won't induce morning sickness?" Averman asked as Charlie sat down to breakfast. He would not live down saying he was pregnant anytime soon. Those of us from the Spanish study group cracked up laughing.

"All of you had better shut up now"

"Oh, a mood swing," Russ added, "The past few months make perfect sense now. It was all in the hormones."

"What in the world are you guys talking about?" asked Adam.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Charlie replied.

"Charlie said he was pregnant in Spanish last night ," answered Luis.

Everybody joined in laughing at Charlie. He really is a great captain, sacrificing his pride so we could loosen up before our final, even though he didn't do it on purpose.

After the final, I felt like I did really well on it, better than the other tests anyway. However, right now I'm just concerned with getting over to Fulton's, dropping my stuff off, and getting over to Charlie's ASAP to see Bryn. Casey should have already picked her up from the airport, but first I've got to say goodbye to those leaving for other places.

We were gathered under a tree where we all planed to be picked up. Julie and Connie seem to have this obsession with Christmas carols because they have been constantly singing them all day. They were currently singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Russ was adding in those extra words after each line, which they were both glaring at him for while they finished the song.

"Russ, if you want to sing, stick with the real words," ordered Julie.

"You mean saying his nose shined like a light bulb isn't part of the real words?"

"No!"

"Well then, fine. I'll sing my own carols. I was tired of being just a backup singer anyways." He tossed his head up and flung his hand in the air like a preppy girl. The girls looked at him insulted and irritated.

"And what shall be your debut number?" asked Averman, playing along.

"I'd like to start with my own version of a classic that everyone can join in." This should be interesting. He began to sing, "I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas, just like the ones I used to know, where palm trees sway…"and he ran out of words.

"And people lay, soaking in sunshine on the beach, I'm dreaming of a warm Christmas," Luis added. Oh, goodness.

"Whenever I pass a snowy lot. May our days be merry and hot." Ken continued. Now for a big finale, together, "And may all your Christmases be warm." Now, some laughed and some groaned. I laughed. Averman called for an encore.

"That was absolutely horrible," Julie stated.

"Why? All of us sang beautifully," Russ retorted.

"The words were awful. I can't imagine not having snow on Christmas morning."

"You're the only one. I can't wait for sunshine, warm breezes, and a lack of snow."

"Here, here," chorused Luis and Ken to Russ's announcement.

"My Christmases always have been and always will be fine with me wearing shorts and t-shirt and looking at pictures of snow on the calendar," Luis explained.

Gee wiz, I never knew people could hate the cold so much. I decided to put my two cents in. "It really isn't that cold here. Chicago spends like half the year below freezing."

"Ah, the nightmare. How do you live in the cold for so long?" Russ looked ready to faint.

"Just used to it." I shrugged.

The van that takes people to the airport pulled up. "That's why I need to hurry so I don't miss my flight," Russ said.

"Oh fine. Just rush away from us. Go on," Charlie said sarcastically. With that, we all said goodbye and wished everybody a safe flight. After the van left, parents started to show up.

Fulton's step-mom Emma picked us up. Once we were on our way, I began bouncing around like a little kid on Christmas morning. Luckily, Fulton didn't laugh at me. I couldn't wait to see Bryn. Part of me wished we could go straight over there, but I figured Fulton should see his family first, since he was letting me stay with him.


	4. Reunions

Yeah I finally posted this chapter! I've rewritten like a hundred times trying to find the best way to introduce Bryn to the Ducks. This is what I finally settled on (obviously). Thank you rubix the cube, antiIRONY, and phenioxfire for your reviews. I'm not much of a comedian, so I needed the confidence boost. FYI: I haven't seen the first movie in years, so I hope I didn't mischaracterize anybody.

Chapter 3 Reunions

Ebenezer Scrooge said something about being as giddy as a schoolboy. I understand that feeling right now. This ride to Fulton's took way too long. But at least we're finally here. It only took a second for me to grab my back and climb the stairs to the Reeds' third floor apartment.

I hurriedly dumped my stuff in Fulton's room and waited as he greeted his dad and half-sister Laura. It took me a second to realize that skates would be faster than walking to Charlie's. However, Fulton was one step ahead of me.

"Hey, Emma! Can you give us a ride over to Charlie's?"

"Sure." Fortunately, the drive didn't take too, too long. I took the stairs two at a time up to the second floor with Fulton hot on my heals. I knocked impatiently on the door.

"You two sure didn't take long to get here. I've hardly gotten two words out of the girl. Mom told me she's a Duck fan, so she must alright, if she wasn't so shy," he explained as he led us into his living room. I smiled; Bryn always tries to act shy around new people. I think it has something to do with all the foster homes.

Bryn sat on the couch. Before Charlie could do introductions, Bryn shrieked and tackled me. I took a step backwards to keep my balance.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a Bash Brother fan," Charlie said as Adam came into the room. Adam usually tries to spend as much time as possible away from his own house during breaks. His mom and dad work a lot, so Adam claims he isn't missed.

"Come on, Charlie. Aren't all girls after that penalty box striptease. She probably saw that and knew she had to come to Eden Hall," Adam answered. What happened to the shy, quiet cake eater I met and envied? I gave Fulton the 'we're going to get him' look. He countered with the 'you and I both know you don't mean that' look.

"What striptease?" I stared down at my shoes trying to evade her question.

"Hi! I'm Fulton, the other Bash Brother." Thank you Fulton. "And that's Adam, our team cake eater."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Bryn by the way." She shook hands with Fulton and Adam. Then the phone rang. We sat down and listened as Charlie answered it.

"Hello…Not yet…of course I will…definitely, why not…not funny…we'll be there…Guy and Connie…No!…Well, Portman's here…see you then."

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Jesse. You guys want to go play on the old pond Monday?" Charlie answered.

We all agreed. I hadn't seen Jesse since moving here. I need to work on changing that, but I guess I'll see him tomorrow. Then Averman and Goldberg showed up.

"Guys, this is Bryn. That's Goldberg and Averman," Charlie said.

"You don't look like a radical hippie. You look normal. So who dragged you to Eden Hall?" I felt Fulton grip my shoulder to keep me from lunging at Averman.

"Eden Hall offered me an academic scholarship. Why are you here? You don't look like an athlete." I smiled. Bryn is very shy around new people until they upset her. Then she just goes off.

"Sorry I stated the truth. I'm just trying to get the facts." Where does he get this stuff?

"Apology accepted."

"Wow, that's like the most you've said all afternoon," Charlie announced.

That made my sister slink back into her shell. She pulled out my medal from under her shirt and clutched it in her hand.

"Just excuse Averman. He doesn't know when to shut up most of the time, and he never thinks before speaking. It's best to ignore him," Adam explained to Bryn. Trust him to be all polite. Probably took fancy etiquette classes as a kid. "What's that you're holding?"

A small, sly smile appeared on her face. "The medal my brother gave me before we parted. I haven't taken it off since. You want to see it?" She took it off and handed to Adam.

"No, you don't need to take it off just for me. I was just wondering what it was."

"It's alright. I'm sure my brother won't mind." Yeah right. She knew I never let anyone touch it. That's why it was such a big thing for me to let her keep it. It is quite literally my most prized possession. She's doing this to annoy me. Her and Julie will get along great. At least she didn't give it to Averman.

"So, what's it for?" asked Goldberg. Adam didn't answer. He looked questioningly at Bryn.

"You said your brother gave this to you?"

"Yeah. His most prized possession so that I wouldn't forget him."

"Most prized? Are you sure he won't beat me up for touching it?" He gazed slowly at me.

"He knows you wouldn't do anything to mess it up. Besides, you could always switch it with your own if anything were to happen. He'd never know the difference." How could she say that right in front of me?

"What do you mean?" asked Goldberg. "What's it for?"

Adam handed the medal to me. "This belongs to you doesn't it?"

"Thank you. Now I know who to trust with my belongings." I shot a mock glare at Bryn.

"I guess I should reintroduce myself. My name's Bryn Portman. Dean's my older brother."

Everyone looked at me shocked. Well except for Fulton and Bryn.

"Hey, it was her idea to not tell you she's my sister. I believe her exact words were that she didn't want you to like her just because she's my sister."

"Two years and you never mentioned a sister! Why is it you never talk about your family? Coach Bombay had to go get you from Chicago! Two years! I thought we were close?!" Not the reaction I expected from Charlie. I guess it should have been, given his very hot temper.

"Slow down Charlie. Do you realize how little we really know about the newer Ducks? I'm sure Portman has a good reason for taking so long to tell us about his family. Right, Portman?" Adam said.

"It was my fault really. I didn't won't you to feel obligated to like me because Dean threatened you. I guess I was just really scared. My brother can be very overprotective."

She's made me sound like a bully. I would never threaten my friends-wait yes I would, for her anyway.

"He might try, but we're a very opinionated bunch. If someone doesn't like you, we'll let you know." Would it be ironic if I got up and punched him? "Take for instance, Linda," explained Goldberg. Hadn't I already told her this exact same thing?

"Hey!" Charlie interrupted.

"That's what Dean said. I just wanted to be sure."

"But what about the fact that we didn't even know you had a sister? Much less, that she had found a way into Eden Hall?"

I shrugged. "There's just a lot you guys don't know, but there's also a lot we the out-of-state Ducks don't know about you guys."

"So what's the story?" asked Averman.

"My sister landed an academic scholarship to Eden Hall, that's it."

"And? Don't tell me you're going to leave off the rest of it." Sometimes Bryn needs to not try and correct me.

"Okay. The reason I've been staying with Fulton is that I'm a 'ward of the state' with no money or reason to return to Chicago during breaks."

"What do mean 'ward of the state?'" asked Goldberg.

"He means our so called mother left us on the doorstep of an orphanage instead of taking care of us."

I did not need her to say that, especially like that. I definitely need to explain to her what the Ducks need to know and not know.

"Wow. Portman, you never mentioned any of that."

"I guess I was worried you all might start pitying me or hate me or something. I can't stand pity."

"Well, if that's all you're worried about, don't sweat it. You have to be pretty unique to be a Duck," explained our wonderful captain. "There isn't a single one of us that doesn't have some sort of strange home life. I've got an evil stepfather, Adam has a crazy father, and Averman grew up with four sisters. We have no room to judge."

"He's right. Well, except for the fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having four sisters."

"He's in denial about having a problem," Goldberg loudly whispered to me.

We all laughed and I realized that I had nothing to fear. We understood one another somehow. Besides, from what I heard about the beginning of the school year, I associate with a pretty heartless but close bunch.

"Yeah, now that everyone's on the same page, you can explain the striptease comment."

Everyone but me laughed. This was not going to be pretty.

"At the end of the JV/Varsity game, Portman was put in the penalty box. In his excitement, he stripped. It was really funny," Averman explained. Shoot me now. Bryn has this thing about acting like a gentleman. So I'm dead meat, especially for not telling her.

"Don't worry. Everyone was a bit out of it that night. Seriously, Adam played defense, Goldberg scored, and the strangest of all," he paused dramatically, "Charlie passed the puck." Thank you again Fulton. Now I know why he's my best friend.

That got us all laughing except for Charlie. It also moved Bryn's attention away from me.

"You trying to say I hog the puck?"

"I'm not trying, I'm flat out saying you don't pass the puck as much as you should. No offense dude."

Charlie frowned in mock hurt. We couldn't help laughing. "You guys laugh as if you don't have any faults on the ice," my sister piped up. "I don't think stripping in the penalty box is normal."

"Well put Bryn." Charlie clapped. He can be so crazy.

"Now before you go off on him, you need to realize that Connie and Julie chewed him out for doing something 'so dehumanizing.' It was just a spur of the moment, adrenaline rush thing," Fulton explained.

"Alright then. I'm glad Julie and Connie have such good sense." Yep, she'll definitely fit in with Julie and Connie.

#####Monday###########

There was a knock at the door. Fulton's dad, Tom, answered it. "Hello, boys! I haven't seen you all in a while, especially you, Peter." Averman and this other kid entered the living room.

"Well, it seems that these preppies are above hanging out with little poor folk like me," this boy I didn't know said. I wanted to know where he comes off calling us preppies.

"Dude, you are just as capable of picking up a phone as we are," Fulton said as he gave the guy a high five and pulled him into a hug.

"He won't listen to reason, Fulton. He just wants to gripe and complain about everything," Averman responded.

"Not true!" The kid turned to me. "Anything these preps have told you about me is untrue. Don't believe a word of it." I'm so confused. Why is this kid acting like he knows me? I needed to set him straight.

"Well that should be pretty easy, since I have no clue who you are or anything else about you. All I know is that you sound like the only preppy here."

He raised his eyebrows in shock. "What do you mean?" He turned to Fulton. "How come you haven't mentioned me?"

Fulton bit his lip. "Just never got around to it. Never thought you guys would meet, I guess."

"Portman, my name is Peter Marks. I played hockey with these forgetful fools back in peewees." I shook his extended hand. For some reason, I had never thought about Minnesota Ducks that didn't come to LA. Should have, it would be hard to have a hockey team with just eight people.

"Well, why don't you tell me the other Ducks I don't know on the way to this pond?" I asked Peter.

"Sure. I need to since they haven't and you're about to meet everybody." We grabbed our stuff and headed out the door. "Hold up. Did you just say 'this pond?'"

"Yeah. Why?" This kid is confusing.

"Because we are going to the pond. The Duck Pond. There are no others." I've I mentioned yet that this kid is crazy?

"Lay off, Peter." Averman said. "Portman, back when we were District Five we practiced on this pond. It holds a lot of special memories of those good old days."

"What good old days? I haven't heard of any." This appalled Peter, who spent the rest of the walk telling me stories about District Five, mainly about the people who didn't go to LA. I sat down on one of the benches to put on my skates when I heard Jesse.

"Portman! Fulton! Averman! Long time no see!" Jesse called from the ice where he was shooting around with Adam and a kid I guessed was his brother and another I'm thinking is Tommy. On the other end of the pond, Tammy was showing Bryn some figure skating move. Charlie, Goldberg and Karp were still lacing up their skates.

"You divide into teams yet?" Fulton asked.

"Nope, Goldberg here is trying to explain how 'great' it could be to play with only one goalie," Charlie answered.

"I'm just saying, if it's so important, you be goalie," Goldberg responded.

"Man, you aren't still afraid, are you?" Karp said.

"No," Goldberg said quickly as he glanced at me. Wonder what he is or was afraid of?

"It isn't that anymore. He's become a defensive man," Averman told them.

"Defense? As in something that calls for skating ability? You're joking with us?" Peter called out.

"Anyone can improve their skating, Peter," Fulton said as we made our way onto the ice.

"And we all know you have experience in that area," Peter retorted.

"Exactly. Besides, Goldberg's getting pretty good at it. He even scored once."

"Yeah, we heard that on the radio. Only proves that nothing is impossible." Goldberg glared at Peter.

"Isn't that the truth. I seem to remember a ragtag team that could hardly stand on the ice, much less play hockey," Adam retorted.

"Real funny cake-eater. All of you new substitutes are just alike." I'm totally lost on what they are talking about. I'll need to remember to ask Fulton about this stuff later.

"Alright, break it up." Here comes Captain Ducky. "Goldberg, you have to be a goalie today. Next vacation, you can talk the girls into staying here and not be goalie. Right now, you and Karp pick teams."

"Bryn! You playing?" Tommy called, as we all circled up in the middle of the ice.

"I'm not. I watch not play," Bryn said as she took a seat on a bench.

"Tammy?"

"I guess, this once to even the teams up. It'll be nice making you guys kiss the ice again." Everybody objected to that comment. This Tammy character had quite the mouth.

Anyways, I ended up on, surprisingly, Karp's team with Charlie, Terry, Tommy, and Averman. We played until nobody really knew the score anymore. I'll have to ask later why some didn't go to LA because they obviously had talent. I guess I should be glad they didn't though, or I wouldn't be here.

When we finally started to get hungry, we went to Mickey's Diner. I hadn't had this much fun in ages. Tammy and Bryn seemed to hit it off real well, and Peter's smart mouth grew on me. And it was great to see Jesse again. I also dubbed an official "Immigrant In-state Duck of the Order of the Milkshake" by Captain Charlie. Ask Averman and Peter exactly what all that is supposed to mean. This seems to be the best Christmas break ever and Christmas is till two days off.


	5. Moving In

I'm back. Unfortunately, between starting college and a severe case of writers block on this story, I realize I haven't updated in nearly a year. I did what I always told myself I'd never do. Oh well…anyways, the next chapter's already started. There's nothing like catching D2 on Encore to start ideas flowing. While you're waiting for the next chapter, please check out my other story. Please remember to review at the end. The French is from freetranslation

Ghostwriter-No idea why

Blonde-brain-Hope this chapter answer your questions

Rachel-I'm trying really hard not to sue Bryn, so thanks for the encouragement. Adam will have an influential part later on.

Moving In

"What in the world do you have in here? There's no way you could have gotten this on a plane," I told Bryn as Fulton and I made our way up the stairs carrying a very heavy box to her dorm room. Averman was following behind us, not really helping, except for making annoying comments.

"Stop complaining. We're almost there." Thank goodness. "Just so you know Coach Bombay let me pick a few books out of his collection to have for my very own as a little Christmas present. That's why it's so heavy."

"This is full of books?" Fulton asked in disbelief.

"No. It also has sheets, blankets, towels, and a few other random things in it that Coach Bombay and Casey helped me get. And there is nothing wrong with reading a lot. That's how I got so smart. If you boys didn't spend all your time thinking of hockey and girls, maybe you'd understand."

I rolled my eyes as Fulton replied, "We think about a lot more than girls and hockey. We read some."

"Well, some of us more than others," Averman added.

"Yep, but Averman doesn't have any girls to think about," I countered before I yelled, "Dang it, Fulton!" He had suddenly let go of his end of the box for who knows why. The box fell on my foot while Fulton was now lying on the floor.

"Sorry, dude. I tripped over Guy," he turned his head. "Guy, what are you doing in the middle of the girls' hallway?"

"Oh Fulton, je suis désolé. J'attends Connie."

"Pourriez-vous plaire parlez l'anglais?" Fulton asked. Good thing he takes French. The only part I understood was 'Fulton' and 'Connie,' not that I can't guess what he's whining about. However, I would still like him to speak in English.

"Oui," I thought that was yes, though that's still not English. "I'm waiting for Connie. I haven't heard her sweet voice in two weeks. I've missed her so…" Pathetic, he has it so bad.

"Presenting Exhibit A," Bryn said as she unlocked her room. "Now what were you three saying about more than girls and hockey?"

"This doesn't count. We can't help that Guy found true love at the tender age of five," Averman responded. Bryn looked to be considering this. "Besides, he's only thinking about one girl, not girls plural." Wow, I'm impressed. That was a really good argument.

"Touché…You two need to move it. I don't have time to be wasting with you guys all day," Bryn commanded from her now open door. I could tell she was flustered by the way Averman countered her argument. I'll admit to not being able to debate well with my genius sister. She's going to do well with all these preppies who think they know everything. However, I still have to play the annoying brother.

"Well if Fulton could help me pick this box up off my foot, maybe you could get your precious box sometime today," I growled impatiently.

Bryn rolled her eyes as Fulton reached down and pulled the box off my foot. I hopped around on one foot trying to shake the pain away, even though I've definitely been worse off after a hockey game. Guy hopped out of the way of Fulton dragging the stupid box into the room and dramatically sprawled out on the floor. All the while, Averman stood behind me smirking.

Leaning against the wall, I began gripping. "Guy, could you be anymore pathetic? That box was heavy and fell right on my foot!"

"Poor baby," my annoying little sister said. "We all know that it'll take more than a box to put the big bad bash brother out of commission." See what I mean about arguing? My rep's in trouble if I don't agree with her, so I'm loosing this argument, but oh well…I can't let that stop me…

"Of course it will," I replied indignantly. "I just expected a little compassion because it was all your crap that fell on me."

"Like I was saying, there's no permanent damage…"

"Why don't both of you just cool it, before the rest of us lose it." I think he's a little tired of our constant sibling rivalry.

"And just whose side are you on, Fult?" I replied as I moved past Bryn into the dorm room. I flopped onto Bryn's uncovered bed. Guy followed me in and collapsed on Connie's neatly made up bed. Some say I have no tact, but they're wrong. I'm not going to say anything, even though he appears to be sniffing her pillow. Bryn and Averman pulled the desk chairs into the space between the two beds.

"So Guy, are you aware enough to at least say hi?" Averman asked.

Guy gave a small wave to show that he is halfway coherent. "Hi…You must be the new roommate," he mumbled. Not even halfway coherent.

"Yeah, you're double zero, the most consistent Duck. I recognized you instantly."

"Why don't you ever say something normal, like 'nice to meet you,' instead of sounding like a sports announcer," I think I'm only continuing this sibling rivalry because it irritates Fulton so much. Bryn stuck her tongue out at me in response before turning back towards Guy.

"My name's Bryn, Bryn Portman." Well, Guy is now sitting up and alert. His eyebrows have also shot through the ceiling.

"What…how…wait…so, are you related to Portman?" he stuttered. I rolled my eyes. This is going to be a long day, since no one thinks it's possible for me to have a sister.

"You can pick your jaw up, Guy. Yes she's my little sister."

"Wow, I never would have thought…"

"We know, you were probably thinking only of Connie," Fulton supplied for him.

"If you ever get a girl for more than a week, then we can talk."

"Well, we can't all have your luck, can we?"

"That's right. I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have my Connie…Oh Connie, I miss you so…" He can be so pathetic.

Fulton opened that blasted box, pulled out the pillow off the top, and tossed the pillow at Guy. "Stop your whining. You know the girls' will be back any time now."

As if on cue, "Well, isn't this grand? You guys are just sitting up here being lazy while we lug this luggage up all them stairs," Julie reprimanded as her and Connie came into the room, loaded down with suitcases.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought two big hockey players like yourselves wouldn't need my help," Averman said as he ran from the room, thankfully off to bother somebody else for a change.

"But we have been helping your new roommate," I replied.

"Yeah, we're exhausted," Fulton added.

"And my foot was crushed."

"And we've put up with Averman."

"Who did nothing helpful, by the way."

"And don't forget listening to Guy's crying."

"All in all, we had a very long day, so you should give us some credit."

"And it's not like you two would have accepted our help," Fulton finished.

"The point is that none of you were gentlemen enough to offer," Connie explained before planting a kiss on Guy's cheek.

"That's right," Julie agreed. They try and act so snobby sometimes.

"So, you two were expecting what, an entourage of ducks awaiting your arrival?" I asked.

"Of course," Julie answered with a superior tone. "Now the hard question is where did you learn a word like entourage?"

"Real funny, I know a whole lot of words…"

"Oh stop it, will you?" Bryn quietly interrupted. "You don't always have to have the last word, especially since most times you're wrong."

Julie turned to her in surprise, and Connie stopped making out with Guy to look at her. They stared at her silently for a second before breaking out laughing.

"Hey, you three aren't always right either."

"But when it comes to you guys, we are always right, Fult, and you'd all be better off if you'd remember it," explained Connie.

"So on that note," Julie said. "We need to unpack and arrange this place for three people, so you guys need to leave." I glanced over to see that Connie had apparently already kicked out her boyfriend.

"But Julie, we need to rest after hauling that heavy box up here. Fulton dropped it on my foot. I might be crippled for life." My whining went over with them as well as it did Bryn. The two had Fulton on his feet in no time and turned to me. They grabbed both my feet and began trying to pull me off the bed.

Unfortunately for them, I grabbed the frame of the bed so they couldn't move me. Unfortunately for me, despite being girls, they were still hockey players with enough combined strength that I wouldn't last long. I was holding them off well though, until Bryn stopped laughing long enough to give the other two some advice.

"He's ticklish under his knee." Oh crap!

I was soon standing against the wall, keeping my knees away from the girls wiggling fingers.

They smiled evilly at me before addressing Bryn. "Thank you, Bryn. I think I'm going to enjoy this new arrangement. I'm Julie by the way, and that's Connie."

"Though, you probably already knew that."

"I did, but how did you two know who I was?"

They shrugged. "Dean Buckley wrote us an official letter telling us your name and hometown. We figured it was just too coincidental."

"So, if we're right, you have our deepest respect and sympathy," Connie said, "for living with and being related to Dean Portman."

"I know. It's been rough…"

"Hey! I'm not the one sharing personal information to a couple of pesky girls. It's not like I go around telling everyone that you sucked your thumb until you were eight."

"Why, you evil…" I didn't hear the rest of her tirade as Fulton and I ran from the room.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

We were back in class in no time, and eventually everyone adapted to the idea of me having a sister. It was interesting though, to be the hot topic on the Eden Gossip Network, for something other than what girl had a crush on me. It wasn't news for long, though because some baseball player cheated on his girlfriend over the break. Which is fine with me, I really don't need these preppies in my business. As long as the Ducks and I are good, I'm cool.

\\\\\\\\\\\

I found myself walking down a deserted alley, again. I heard Shane's voice calling me from the end of the alley. "Dean, Dean. You shouldn't be here Dean. Go back now. Bryn needs you. Turn around Dean." I tried to turn around, but couldn't. I continued down the alley. I kept going towards the voice. A gunshot rang out. I began to run towards Shane. "Dean, run before they get you."

"I can't leave you here."

"Yes you can, Dean, you must." I finally reached him. I looked down to see blood pouring from his chest. "I'm not going to make it, Dean. You take care of yourself now."

"No Shane, you're going to be alright." I fell to the ground and placed my hand over the bullet hole, trying to stop the bleeding.

Then, surprisingly, his voice became very ethereal, more so than this being a nightmare. The scene had eerily been warped. I felt calm, despite being covered in blood.

"Continue to take good care of Bryn. You're doing well. I'm proud of you. Just remember to forgive them. You must forgive them, Dean. It is the key to it all. You must forgive…" His ghostly voice faded as I awoke in my dorm room.

What in the world was that? That was not what Shane had said, by any means. It was a modern message. Was Ken right about dreams meaning something? Was this advice from above? What was Shane trying to tell me? Who did I need to forgive?

His murderers had never been caught, but I had given up hope of justice long ago. That's the way things were on the streets.

Bryn-despite our constant sibling rivalry, she couldn't do anything that I wouldn't forgive her for. but it does make me feel better to think that Shane is proud of me.

Fulton-again, I can always forgive him.

Any of the other Ducks-Same, I can't think of them doing anything worse than teasing me for being "an overprotective big brother."

Cole-If that is who Shane means, then the dream-version of my brother is obviously an imaginary figment that's also insane.

Well, I'm running out of people who I would even consider influential enough in my life who could do something big enough that I would need reminding to forgive.

So who else could I need to forgive? My life is great right now. Was this a warning? Was something really bad about to happen so I'd be mad at one of my friends?

And what would it be the key to? How could everything hinge on me forgiving somebody? Have I missed something? I fell asleep, pondering the many questions my dream had brought up.


	6. The Letter

The last chapter had no reviews. So if you could please, please review, it's ok if just say if you like it, or hate it, or whatever, just give me something.

The Letter

"Mr. Portman, the dean would like to see you in his office," the office aide told me as I left my last class.

"Just me?" What on earth did he want me for now?

"Yes, just you." She turned and walked away.

"Well, I'll see you guys later, since I've now been summoned."

"Did you pull a prank without me?" Fulton asked with a frown.

"No, I honestly have no clue why he wants to see me."

I turned and headed towards the dean's office. This is really odd. Even if some varsity players were framing me for something, they would have framed Fulton too. I think they would anyway. I passed Linda filing papers right outside the door that led to the dean. Unfortunately, I couldn't read the look she gave me. Not that she would feel the urge to warn me about trouble since we don't really get along.

Dean Buckley saw me and motioned for me to have a seat in his office. As I sat down he began to talk.

"Please don't worry. You are not in any trouble. I just wanted to chat with you." Chat with me? Does he expect me to believe that?

"As you probably already know, it is my job while you are living here on campus to look out for your well-being. This does not only include your education, but also your health, safety, and security. I have to make sure that you, as an impressionable teenager, receive the guidance and supervision necessary for you to grow into a successful adult."

Where in the world is he headed with this?

"I take this responsibility extremely serious. Therefore, I monitor the mail that students receive, just to make sure nothing suspicious comes."

And I wonder how many porn magazines he's collected just because they are "suspicious."

"I was quite concerned when such a curiously addressed letter arrived for you." He held up an envelope so I could see it. The return address said "Illinois Youth Center Chicago." Uh oh, Bryn must have sent Shawn this address. I should ring her neck, right after I figure out why Shawn would write to me instead of her. He hasn't written to me in forever. I would prefer to never hear from him again.

"So I must ask you, why you would be receiving letters from a juvenile convict?"

Alright, Dean, concentrate. I need to get my letter and get out of here, without getting into trouble or losing my letter for good. I have no idea how though.

"Here's that form you requested, sir," Linda said as she laid a stack of papers on Dean Buckley's desk. Great, now this whole ordeal is going to be blabbed to Charlie because I didn't shut the door when I came in.

"Thank you," Dean Buckley said. She just stood there next to his desk. "Is there something else you needed? I was in the middle of a meeting." He gestured towards me.

"Well…I sort of heard part of your meeting," she started slowly, and then she went into activist mode. "That letter is obviously not a court summons, so why should it matter? I can think of legitimate reasons for him to have such a letter, seeing as I have started to correspond with a girl from the halfway house downtown. Also, the First Amendment still applies to teenagers. Therefore, unless you have permission from his parents or guardians or have reason to suspect him of endangering himself, other students, or staff, you have no right to read a student's mail."

The look on Linda's face said that she would leave here to start a petition on the matter if he did not give me my letter. Who would have thought Linda would stick up for me? The dean folded.

"Keep the letter Portman, but if you would like to share its contents, you know where to find me."

"Of course, sir, is that all?"

"Yes," he said as Linda triumphantly strolled out of the office. I quickly followed her.

"Linda," I called. I fell in step beside her. "Thanks for helping me." I hope she doesn't expect to hear who this letter is from.

"It wasn't a problem. Someone has to keep the administration in check."

"Well, I think I understand that a bit better now. I'll even sign some of your petitions from now on."

"Just some?"

"Well, depends what I think about each individual one, doesn't it? Sometimes I might disagree with one."

"True, thanks for saying you'll look at them."

We walked back to my dorm building (I guess she's headed to see Charlie) in silence. I still wouldn't consider us friends, but we can be civil with each other now. Not only did she help me out, but she never asked what the letter was about or who it was from. She didn't even look at me weird when I walked past the main staircase and down the hall to the back one that leads right next to my dorm. I can respect that.

I quietly went into my room, hoping that Fulton wasn't in here. I doubted he would be because I could here the Ducks hanging out in the common room. Thank goodness I came up the back stairs. I sat at my desk and opened the letter.

"Dear Dean,

I hope you and Bryn are doing well. I've been keeping mostly to myself lately, so I could do some thinking. I was really upset that you went off to Minnesota without telling me.

But I understand that we haven't exactly been getting along recently. I hope to change that. You really do have a lot of things going for you with hockey and all. It got you and Bryn away from the orphanages. Without ya'll being separated.

I want you to know that I appreciate what you've done for Bryn and that I'm sorry. I know I've said that before, but I mean it now. You're my little brother and do care about you. I'm sorry I've done such a terrible job as your big brother. I was never one for responsibility; that was for Lane and Shane. Even you've been more mature than me.

I know I can't make up for all the years I've been an idiot, but I want us to get along. I hope that you'll write back to me and don't get mad that Bryn has been writing to me and gave me your new address.

Actually, I am really glad I had your address. You should expect a visitor soon. You'll love him! Write to me when he gets there. I want to know if he makes it ok. And I want to know how you three get along. I can't wait to get out of here so I can join you guys up in Minnesota.

Until then, take care,

Shawn"

That was a bit more than the annual apology letter he usually sends. Visitor? What on earth does that mean? I can't think of anybody other than him that would come and see me. He's probably sending some drug-dealing friend to check on us. If he's serious about apologizing he wouldn't send one of his so called friends up here, but no one has ever thought of Shawn as smart. It was his drug addiction that got Shane killed. I hope he isn't that stupid. And I love how he mentioned Shane and Lane. Shawn is nothing but a stupid, inconsiderate, heartless idiot that I hate.

"Hey Portman, when did you get up here?" Fulton asked in surprise as he entered our room. I quickly stuffed the letter in my desk drawer before turning to answer him.

"Couple minutes ago." Here it comes.

"What did Buckley want?" I knew it.

"Not much, he just gave me a lecture on responsibility."

"Ok, well, I only came in here to grab my science notes. We're all working together on the homework. You should come."

I grabbed my science stuff and followed Fulton out. Nothing like covalent and ionic bonds to get my mind off that blasted letter. Surprisingly, Linda was studying with us. I figured she would have grabbed Charlie and left.

"So the molecules go together. Why do we have to know how?" Guy groaned.

"All I know is that Mrs. Anderson's class puts me to sleep," proclaimed Luis.

"But without it, where would we have gotten that wonderful prank idea."

"Very true Julie," agreed Ken, "but don't forget how we nearly ended up in detention returning that stupid tank."

"You make detention sound like a bad thing."

"Russ, detention is bad, especially since it would have given the Board evidence of how bad we are," Julie lectured. "Can you imagine how awful it would be to have the whole JV hockey team in detention?"

"I will not quack at the principal," the in-state ducks, minus Adam recited together, before they cracked up laughing.

Ken spoke up for all of us that were totally clueless on what was so funny. "What in the world are you guys talking about?"

"Oh those were the days," Averman wheezed, "when we were just poor, mouthy little kids."

"Come on, fill in the rest of us," demanded Russ.

"Yeah, I don't even know what you all are laughing at."

"That's because you weren't a Duck yet, Adam, and you went to private school," Charlie said. "We were having a bit of a…um…"

"Disagreement," supplied Connie.

"Yes, a disagreement with Coach Bombay. So we were claiming that we quit the team."

"There was no claiming to it, some of us were serious Charlie. That's how the fight started."

"Thank you Goldberg. Now I believe _I_ was telling the story…Anyway, we got into a fight during class, and the principal came in. She asked what was going on and we started to quack. The whole team got detention. We had to write 'I will not quack at the principal' on the chalkboard."

"That's awful. I was only joking. I can't believe that really happened."

"Unfortunately it did. I can't imagine getting detention again. It was so embarrassing."

"Yes, it was _so_ horrifying. A whole ten minutes of detention, it felt like an hour." We laughed at Averman mocking Connie.

Then Ken asked, "Why was it only ten minutes?"

"Because Bombay had come to apologize and ended up getting us out of it," stated Guy.

Wow, what a story. I wouldn't have thought the whole team could end up in trouble like that, especially with Connie and Tammy. They quacked at the principal, amazing.

"Well maybe we should try that with Dean Buckley sometime," suggested Russ.

We all laughed at how funny his reaction would be. Then Bryn came in.

"Hey Dean, I heard you were sent to Dean Buckley's office. What did you do now?"

My sister's innocent question brought back all the thoughts of the afternoon. The anger I had felt earlier because she had given Shawn this address began to rise inside of me, but I knew I shouldn't let it out. He is unfortunately her brother too, and she likes him for some reason. Not to mention we were in the presence of all the Ducks.

I muttered a quick "nothing," and stormed off to my dorm, leaving some very confused people in behind.


	7. Anger

**Anger**

Thankfully, neither Bryn nor Fulton followed me back to my dorm, but I knew they would only leave me alone for so long. They knew me well enough to know I needed time to cool off. Only, I didn't feel like cooling off.

I wanted to go back to Chicago just punch my brother, or ex-brother. I wanted to tell him that I didn't want anybody from Chicago to come up here to check on me. I wanted to tell him to stop trying to apologize because we both know that he was not sorry for hanging out with that gang. If he was sorry, he would have given up the pot and stayed with Bryn and me. If it wasn't for him and his pot, Shane would be alive. That's the only reason we were ever in that alley, trying to protect that ungrateful brat. He is always pretending like that night never happened. I hate him. I really, really hate him and nothing is going to change that. I hate him.

And he has the audacity to think that I should write to him, but then again, maybe I should. Maybe I should tell him yet again how stupid I think he is and how much I hate him. I sat down at my desk to do exactly that. I wrote page after page to my sorry excuse for a brother.

Fulton came into our room a little before 9:00. I was still writing furiously. He grabbed his own desk chair and pulled it up beside me. I ignored him.

"What're you writing?" he asked. I continued to ignore his presence. "What's wrong, Portman? Dude, look at me. What's up?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Don't lie to me. I know something happened in the dean's office today. I just want to know what."

"Maybe you don't need to know."

I didn't need to look up to know how much that comment hurt him. I just don't care though. He needs to understand that I don't feel like sharing right now.

"Are you going to tell Bryn the same thing when she corners you tomorrow?"

"Why not? She has no reason to know either."

"Well if you plan to ignore everybody, I think you owe us an explanation for why."

"I'm talking to you right now, so I'm not ignoring you, so I don't have to explain anything."

Fulton didn't respond. Instead he put his chair back over on his side of the room and went to bed. I really did not feel like going to sleep, but I shoved my four page letter into the desk drawer and lay down on my bed. However, I never really went to sleep.

The next morning as I made my way to breakfast, Bryn, just as Fulton predicted, stopped me.

"How are you doing this morning?" she asked.

"Fine, but I'm hungry, so why don't we make our way to breakfast." I tried to sound normal. She of course didn't buy it.

"Well maybe if you didn't skip dinner, you wouldn't be so hungry."

"That doesn't matter. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." I sped up trying to out pace her.

"That may be, but you need to talk to me. One minute you're hanging out with your friends and when I walk in you storm off like you're mad at the world. That only tells me that I must have done something."

"Well, it's not you that I'm mad at, so just leave me alone."

"Well who is it then? Is it Dean Buckley, because there's no reason to keep that from me?"

"Well it's not him."

"So what is it? It has to be some part of that meeting you had with him. Don't make me go behind your back and figure out why you were called in there…actually, that wouldn't be hard. I noticed Linda works in the office."

"Don't go bothering Linda. She doesn't know anything. I've got this all under control."

We had finally reached the cafeteria. Bryn hopped into the food line. I grabbed an apple and walked to my first class.

Luckily, my friends left me alone while we went from class to class. Bryn didn't try to talk to me either, which only bothered me because she was most likely asking Linda if she knew anything.

I just wanted to get back to my dorm, so I could mail that letter to Shawn. It's amazing how many ways I came up with to say I hate you, so leave me alone. Hopefully, it would sink in this time. I still can't believe he was sending one of his drug buddies up here to check on us. That afternoon I mailed the letter.

A week passed with the Ducks giving me some space. They knew I was upset over something, and I know I enjoyed being left alone to plot my ex-brother's demise. However, Fulton began to feel that I had brooded long enough.

He came into our room and locked the door behind him. I looked up from where I laid on my bed reading _Les Mis_.

"What's up?" I asked, my eyes darting to the locked door.

"You have been acting weird all week, ever since your visit to Buckley's office. I want to know what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"Nice try, but I'm not buying it. I'm worried about you."

Wow, serious Fulton. I wasn't expecting that. "There's no need to be worried about me. I'm fine."

"Then why have you been sulking around and acting like you expect to see a ghost pop out behind every corner. Not to mention, that you continue to have nightmares."

I really need to get out of here. I'm not ready for this conversation. I moved to towards the door. Fulton moved to block me.

"Fulton, I haven't been sulking around, ok? Just let me out."

"No. I want you to talk to me. Everyone's worried. Bryn's afraid you don't want her here because you've been avoiding her."

Something snapped. "What I want is you to leave me the heck alone! I want to enjoy being off the streets! I don't want is some pothead coming up here just when I've escaped! Why can't everyone just leave me alone?!"

"We care that's why…" Fulton started to answer.

"No you don't! If that was the case, Shawn wouldn't be writing to me! Just let me go!" I pushed Fulton away from the door. I unlocked and stormed out, but not without getting a glance of the surprise and hurt that showed on Fulton's face. He followed me out. He reached to grab my arm. I turned and punched him. He took forever to fall down. The hurt and surprise on his face were unmistakable. I ran. And ran. Out of the building, off campus. I ran. I had just slugged my best friend. I ran.


	8. The Duck Pond

Author's Note: I can't believe how long it's been, but I am still trying to finish this story up. It's like I set out with all these big plans, but then they never quite came together. However, I am going to try to bring it to a conclusion. There are definitely a few more chapters to get this to a point I can call complete. My goal now is not to make you wait years for them.

The Duck Pond

By the time I stopped running, I was halfway to the neighborhood the in-state Ducks lived in. I dug some coins out of my pocket and hopped on the next bus that passed. The coincidences didn't stop as the bus stopped up the street from the Duck Pond.

Maybe Peter was right in saying there was something special about this place. As I walked over to a bench, I noticed I was not the only Duck seeking refuge this evening. I was tempted to turn around – It's not like I'm really connected to this place – but his voice stopped me.

"Portman? What are you doing out here?" Jesse asked.

I took a deep breath. A lot of my energy was gone after all that running.

"Just wondering around. What about you?" I sat down on the bench next to him. He looked upset.

"Just thinking. Coach Bombay came to see us at the shop and said… wait, has he told you all yet?"

"Told us what? I haven't seen him since Christmas."

"He told us he had a good candidate for the new store manager, somebody from Wisconsin. Or actually, he said it was just someone he was bringing in and would be staying at the shop, but I think that means store manager."

With Hans gone and Jan back in Norway, Bombay was in charge of the shop. But with him always gone, the in-state Ducks had taken to running the place when they weren't in school. Bombay had told everyone at Christmas though that he was looking for an actual adult to be in charge.

"He warned us he was looking for somebody," I offered, but I knew the place had come to mean a lot to Jesse.

"I know. I just came out here to mope for a little while anyway, though I'm sure Bombay wouldn't just turn the place over to anyone. He did say the guy was coming for an interview, and we'd get to meet him first."

"Sounds fair. I don't think coach would hire somebody you all hated."

"Yeah, it's not like we can't give this Lane guy a chance."

My breath catches on the name. It has to be a coincidence. I've been thinking about my family a lot, so it's just a coincidence. Stay calm.

"What's the guy's name?"

"Oh, Lane Beard I think."

My eyes widen. There is no way…

"Really?"

"Yeah…" Jesse looks at me worryingly. "Do you know him? I didn't think you knew college kids from Wisconsin…"

"I don't… But…" I pause, but Bombay seems to have backed me in a corner. If Lane was coming here, everyone was about to find out everything. I took a deep breath.

"He's my brother."

"Wait, what brother? Neither you or Bryn have ever mentioned a brother."

"Well… he was adopted when I was nine. We don't talk about it, but it looks like Coach Bombay has other ideas."

"Yeah, he's like that."

"Why is he meddling in my life?" I muttered.

"It's what he does. He strives on it. Ever since that judge changed his life by making him coach us, he returns the favor by messing with our lives."

"Judge? What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you know? Coach was sentenced to community service to coach our team. We practiced here because we didn't have rink or a coach, and then he showed up and drove his limo right onto the ice. He couldn't drive either because it was a drinking and driving charge. Then he sobered up and taught us hockey."

"Wow, I didn't know that."

"Yep, that's how the Ducks started. And Coach Bombay has been messing with all of us ever since. I mean, no one else would have looked up the district lines to make Adam play with us or worked so hard to teach Fulton to skate or convinced Tammy to play hockey. I mean, if he wasn't that way, you wouldn't have moved to here."

"True… When did you get so philosophical?"

"I have my moments… Actually, if you didn't come out here because of your long-lost brother, what did bring you out here to the poor side of town?"

I groaned. Knowing Lane was coming definitely made my fight with Fulton seem less important. It also made me think Shawn knew about this somehow. If he did know, it would explain why he wrote to me. But I really wasn't up for sharing everything with Jesse, especially when I haven't told Fulton any of it.

"I found out something, or I guess it was a hint to Lane coming, but I didn't know that then, so I was angry and punched Fulton when he asked about it."

"You what? You've got to be kidding me. You're the only person big enough to take Fulton, but I still never figured you would ever actually punch him."

"Neither did I…"

"Well, Fulton's pretty understanding. You just need to apologize."

"I know, and I will when I get back. If I can figure out how to get back."

"Oh that's easy."

"You forget I'm not from here. I'm not even sure how I wound up here."

"You're a Duck. It happens. But I think you can get a ride back to campus."

I turned to look where he was pointing behind me. Coach Bombay was walking towards us.

"Hey coach," Jesse yelled.

"Hey boys. How about a ride home? It's getting late," Bombay said.

Both of us stand and walk with Bombay back to his car. It's not until we're in the car and on the road that he starts talking.

"So I got a call from Charlie saying you've been angry for a week, punched Fulton and ran away."

"Yeah… that's the gist of it…"

"Really? Anything you'd care to explain?"

"Not particularly."

"You seem to have cooled off, so did you at least talk to Jesse?"

"Oh yes, Jesse told me lots of interesting things…"

Coach sighed. Why should I let go of my anger when I can just direct it at him?

Coach didn't say anything else until we pulled up in front of Jesse's house.

"See you, Coach. Portman, call if you need anything," Jesse said as he got out.

Then Coach Bombay started again. "I was on my way to talk to you and Bryn when Charlie called and told me what happened."

"Well I want to know why you didn't tell me you were looking for Lane? How did you even find out about him?"

"I've seen your whole file. And I didn't want to give you false hope if I couldn't find anything. However, it turns out he hasn't wanted to find you for some time now and wants to meet you and Bryn."

"What? That's not possible," I told him. "If this is the Lane I know, he wouldn't want to speak to me."

"He does. He said saw you in the Goodwill Games promotions, and after getting the run around for the last year, his name came across my desk. I was curious as to what he wanted, so I contacted him."

"Why would you do that? Or better yet, why would you invite him here?"

"He just graduated college with a degree in business, plus, as your guardian while you're here in Minnesota, I thought you might like to at least talk to him."

"Not particularly. I don't…"

"Now Portman, I know this is a tough situation for you, but try to keep an open mind. You can at least meet him."

Part of me was startled that Lane had tried to find us. I had always looked up to him, and he taught me to skate. I kind of did want to meet him. He had written a couple letters right after he was adopted, but then he forgot about us. And that wasn't something I could forget or let near Bryn…

"What about Bryn?" I asked. "I don't want him near her."

Coach seemed to sense that I was possibly coming around. "Well, maybe you can meet him first, but I think she has a right to know, even if you don't want to meet him…"

"She'll know when I tell her," I demanded. "I'll tell Bryn… Why do you have to be so demanding?"

"Because you will appreciate it later. All I'm asking is that you meet him. He really wants to get to know you, even if it means moving here to be close to Eden Hall."

"He shouldn't do that, but I'll meet him."

"Just so you know, his adopted family wasn't keen on him maintaining contact with you and Bryn, so he never knew how to find you until he recognized you at the Goodwill Games."

I slumped in the seat. "I'll see you on Friday, but let me tell everybody else?"

"It's your news to tell. Can I ask what you'll tell Bryn?

"Very little until I meet him…" I hesitated. Since coach knew this much, should I go ahead and tell him more? Unfortunately, my mouth seemed to decide yes for me…

"She used to dream of all of us being reunited and being together like some movie, but that doesn't happen in real life. I have to make sure this guy who used to be my brother is legit before she sees him. I can't get her hopes up and then have him leave us again. We've been through too much for me to allow that to happen again."

"Okay, I only ask that you give him a chance, but if you want to meet him first, I'll let you."

"Thank you."

"I'll pick you up Friday for dinner."

I got out and looked up at the dorm building in front of me. What a day. Now I had to apologize to my best friend and figure out what to do about Friday.


	9. Apologies and a Plan

Author's Note: Surprised? Well, I really am trying to finish this, however don't expect chapters every day. I'm just taking advantage of the three day weekend. Happy Labor Day to the Americans reading this.

Apologies and a Plan

I took my time trudging upstairs. It was nearing curfew, so the hallway was empty. I took a deep breath and went into my room.

Fulton was lying on his bed, a melting ice pack over his eye.

I sat on my bed. He seemed content to let me start the conversation.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

Fulton turned his head towards me. The ice pack slid off, and I saw the bruise that had developed.

"I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I'll be fine. I've been more worried about you," he said as he sat up.

I looked at the floor. "I know." I still wasn't quite sure where to start. All I knew was that I wanted to tell him about my family. And how could I not when he just so easily forgave me for punching him.

I reached over and dug out my family picture. Fulton didn't say a word. His patience was nearly unbelievable.

I took a deep breath.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." I glanced up to see if he had a reaction. Still nothing. "This is a picture of my family. Bryn and I had three older brothers…"

I told him about the whole story, from Lane's adoption to Shawn's drug problems to the fact that my nightmares were about the night I saw Shane killed. He just let me talk.

"And now Coach Bombay has found Lane and invited him here. Apparently, he's been looking for me."

Fulton was very reassuring that everything would be OK. When we finally went to sleep, I felt a lot better about getting through the week.

* * *

The next morning I was able to get up feeling more relaxed than I had in a while. Though a conversation with Bryn loomed, I knew we could work it out.

I didn't want to lie to her, exactly, but I really didn't want to get her hopes up about Lane. However, the letter from Shawn was what had set me off, so it made sense to tell her about it.

I made my way over to her dorm and sat outside waiting for her to go to breakfast. It was long before I saw her walking towards me.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" she asked as she sat down next to me.

"A lot of things, but nothing you need to worry about."

"Dean, don't do this to me. Just because I'm younger, doesn't mean you can't talk to me. I'm worried about you. You've been acting weird and now you're punching your friends. I need to know what's wrong."

"You can stop worrying. I talked to Fulton last night and we're cool."

"Yeah, but what made you so angry to begin with?"

She could be so stubborn. I wish I could tell her less, but I knew she wouldn't give up unless I gave her something.

"Shawn wrote me a letter."

"What? When I gave him this address, I thought he'd write to me. What did he want? Are you two talking again?"

She looked at me hopeful.

"Not exactly, it's more like he wrote to me; I didn't like what he said and took it out on the nearest person. Just like when we were back home."

"But we're not back home. You keep this up, they'll kick you out."

"I won't let that happen."

"Is there any chance you will write back?"

I sighed. "Probably."

She looked at me with a confused expression. "That's much better than the no you usually give me."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm changing."

Bryn started to grin. "That wouldn't be a bad thing."

"Now, don't get your hopes up. Just because I plan to write back…"

She continued to grin. "I won't. I'll just take it as you two are writing each other."

I roll my eyes. This type of unwavering optimism was the exact reason why I didn't want her to know about Lane yet or ever if he turned out to be a jerk.

"Just what did he tell you?"

"I can't tell you." She glared. "Not yet, OK? I need to check something and then I'll tell you. Just don't bug me for any more information. I need to process all this first."

Her eyes stared at me as if she were sizing me up.

"You promise to tell me whatever it is when you can."

"Of course."

"OK"

"Let's go get something to eat," I said as I stood up. The two of us headed to breakfast.

* * *

The Ducks all seemed willing to forget (or too scared of me to mention) everything that had happened once they saw me laughing with Fulton and Bryn at breakfast.

Now I had to come up with a plan for Friday. What does a guy do to prepare for meeting his long lost brother? In a completely girly move, I dug through my closet looking for something to wear.

Obviously not how I normally spend a Tuesday evening, but I needed to feel like I was doing something to prepare. With hockey, there are drills and playbooks. With this, I had nothing.

Fulton walked our room to see half my closet strung across my bed.

"Did you lose something? Because I know you can't be trying to pick out clothes like a girl."

I groaned. "I was looking for something to wear Friday." I sat down on my bed.

"I think your normal clothes would work fine. What do you want to wear?"

"I don't know."

"That didn't sound convincing. What are you after?" He pulled his desk chair in front of me and sat down in it.

"It's just that… One of the few things I remember about my mom is when she dressed us all up and dropped us off at the orphanage. She put us all in our best clothes and told us that we were going on an adventure and we needed to wear our best clothes. Good things happen when we meet people in our best clothes, she said. I guess I want that now, but I don't have anything that fits. My slacks are five inches too short and I haven't had a nice shirt since I gave up trying to impress possible families."

I flopped back in despair. "I'm in a prep school with nothing preppy to wear. And for the first time ever, I actually want to look the part."

"Are you sure you don't want to wear your normal clothes?"

I nodded.

"Well then the answer is right in front of you."

"What are you talking about? I don't have money to go clothes shopping and I'm bigger than you so it's not like I can borrow your one set of good clothes."

"Just hold on a second. I'll be right back."

"What are you going to do?"

"You need to realize that we Ducks have everything you could need. Just wait here."

He hurried out of the room, and I sighed. I had no idea what he was thinking, as I had made it very clear I wasn't ready to share everything with all the Ducks yet. Eventually I would, but if I was keeping it from Bryn, I wasn't going to tell all the Ducks.

Fulton came back a few minutes later with Adam. I sat up and looked at my best friend with raised eyebrows.

"Now listen to me. Adam, Portman needs a favor. He needs to dress up for a meeting, but doesn't have any dress up clothes. Could you get him some cake-eater clothes?"

Before Adam could reply, I cut in. "Oh no. I don't want anyone treating me like some charity case…"

"That's not what I said. I just thought you could borrow some clothes," Fulton said.

""No way! I can't fit into your clothes, how on earth do you see me fitting into Adam's?"

"You don't have to," Adam said quietly.

"What? Adam, I don't know what Fulton told you, but whatever it was, you won't be able to help…"

"Fulton just said you need help. Now, if you want some cake-eater clothes, you are about the same size as my brother. He's off at college, but leaves a lot of clothes at home. He wouldn't care if we borrowed something, though he really wouldn't need to know anyway."

I looked from Adam to Fulton. Fulton had a smile on his face. Maybe this is the help I need.

"OK, that sounds good. When do you think you can go get something?" I asked. "My meeting is Friday."

"Well, what time Friday? You could come by my house on your way, that way you wouldn't have to be here looking like me."

Got to love that Adam is one of the smart guys. I hadn't even considered what I would do to leave here in preppy clothes. No matter what I have going on, I still have a reputation to uphold.

"That's perfect. Adam's is on the way to… where you are going," Fulton said.

Adam looked confused at the secrecy, but wisely didn't ask any questions about it. Our resident cake-eater was definitely growing on me.

"Alright, it's a plan."


	10. Friday

Friday

Adam and I hopped on the first bus we could after classes Friday. Fulton was getting some math tutoring from Kenny. He wanted to come, but we have an algebra test Monday. Besides, depending on how this goes, I'll either want to introduce Fulton to Lane or spend the weekend doing something to forget all about the whole thing. Better to get the studying done now.

Bryn had wondered where I was off to so quickly after class, so I told her I would explain everything when I got back. She should be able to forgive me soon enough.

It didn't take long to arrive at Adam's house. I hadn't been here before, as we always met at others' houses during the Christmas break.

"Mom, it's me," Adam shouted as we walked through the door.

"Oh, sweetie, and you brought a friend. That's great," his mom said, turning from her spot on the couch to look at us.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Mom this is Portman, one of my teammates. We just stopped by on our way to the shop."

"Hi, Mrs. Banks," I said before following Adam up the stairs. His mom turned back to the television.

I followed Adam into a huge bedroom with a walk-in closet.

"This is my brother's room. Pick out whatever."

I stared at this closet. "This is all your brother's? And he's still has stuff at college?"

Adam looked at me. "Um, yeah… it's just…"

"No, don't worry about it." Though part of me couldn't help but think money had definite benefits.

He plopped down on the bed and pulled out the book we were reading in English from his backpack.

I standing there I realized I didn't want a suit and tie. I grabbed a pair of khakis and a blue polo shirt, changed and stepped back into the bedroom.

"How do I look?" I asked.

He stared for a moment. "Different."

"I know that. But do I look…" I trailed off, not knowing what I wanted.

"Ready to meet your long-lost brother?" Adam finished for me. My jaw dropped. There was no way Fulton would have told him.

Adam's breath caught. "Uh… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said that. Uh, Jesse let it slip when I called him on Wednesday. I haven't told anyone. I just, uh…"

I had forgotten Jesse knew. I sat on the bed beside Adam.

A couple of deep breaths later, I spoke. "So, do you think I look ready?"

Adam looked relieved as if he had expected me to hit him. I probably would have if I wasn't so mortified he knew and so anxious about this whole thing.

"I guess so. I mean, are you really thinking he's going to be some snobby rich kid?"

I nodded.

"Well, once when I was at the hospital waiting for my CAT scan results, I couldn't go to sleep. Jesse came after the game and we had a long discussion about cake-eaters. We figured out that there are two kinds of cake-eaters out there. There are the snobby ones like the varsity team and then there are nice guys who are OK like me. And if this guy is really your brother, he'll probably be one of the nice ones too."

While sharing some genetics definitely didn't seem like a good sign in my family, Adam had a point. Here I was judging this guy I hadn't seen in six years. I flopped back and took a few calming deep breaths. I could hear Adam throwing stuff in his backpack.

I can do this, I reassured myself.

"OK, let's go."

We walked from Adam's house to the shop in silence. I took a couple more deep breaths as Adam opened the door.

Terry looked up from organizing pucks as we walked in and was on the verge of saying something when his older brother silenced him with a glare. He scampered off, which was good. If he had stuck around, I would have had reason to pummel him.

"Hey guys," Jesse called from behind the counter. I ignored the quick questioning glance he shot Adam. "Coach Bombay and Lane are in the back talking. Coach said to go right in."

I walked to the door. My hand hesitated a moment before pushing the door open.

My eyes quickly focused on the strange yet familiar man in the room. Lane stood as I took a step into the room.

"Dean…"

I nodded and sat down in a chair across from him. He sat back down.

"I'm glad you agreed to meet me today."

I was right that he looked like a cake-eater. He even had on a polo shirt. But he also looked like me, hair, face. I realized I had never planned anything to say. But I needed to say something.

"Why did you stop writing?" It took me a second to realize that it had been me that posed the question.

Lane sighed. "The only reason I stopped was because the letters were returned. My parents didn't want me to write, but I tried to anyway. Then one day the letters came back. I kept trying, but I figured you all had moved homes and I had no way to find the new address. But you would be amazed at what I've managed to do with a college library, and it helped that you became so famous."

"But you went to Chicago?"  
"I knew you were still from there from the Goodwill Games, but they wouldn't give me any contact information for you. It was searching in Chicago that led me to Shawn, who told me where you were and that your coach was the person I should contact. Oh, and I forgot to tell you he said to tell you he's doing fine and can't wait until you and Bryn visit him in Chicago again. If you're up for it, I could see us all going together."

Why was he acting like Shawn was a good guy?

"But we won't be all together."

His voice lost some of its confidence. "I know. Shawn told me about Shane…"

"He told you?" Anger rose. "He wouldn't have told you anything true. Shawn's just a lying criminal who should rot in prison. I don't want to see him. And you don't know anything." I was now yelling. "I took care of Bryn and myself, and now you act like you can just come in here. You don't know anything!"

I stormed out of the room and upstairs. I found myself in a storage room.

The door slammed shut. The nearest box of gloves flew across the room. A stick broke in half as it hit a shelf. Pucks scattered across the floor. By the time I slid down the wall to sit, the room was a disaster area.

I put my head in my hands. Tears began welling up in my eyes. A couple minutes later, the door slowly creaked open.

"Well this beats the locker room after the first Iceland game."

I wasn't in the mood for Jesse's humor and looked up to tell him so. He and Adam stood just inside the room, with the door shut behind them. I didn't have the energy to yell at them.

"Will you kill us if we come closer?" Jesse asked.

I nodded.

"If you're speechless, you aren't in any shape to beat anyone." Jesse came forward and sat in front of me, pulling Adam across the room with him.

They just sat there for a few minutes, Jesse staring at me and Adam glancing between the two of us as if waiting for a fight to break out. If so much energy hadn't been spent on tearing up the storage room, beating Jesse would not have been out of the question.

"You can get as mad as you want that he doesn't know anything, but you didn't really give him a chance to find out," Jesse said. "I can only imagine what would have happened if Adam had shown up to our first game dressed like one of us. We wouldn't have been able to take him seriously…"

"No, you just hated me."

Jesse turned to his friend. "Adam, we're supposed to be comforting and motivational here. That doesn't help."

"I didn't know we were coming in here to lie."

Jesse glared, but continued on. "OK, it was slightly different because we didn't like Adam to begin with, so we didn't like him when he showed up. But it would have taken longer if he had shown up dressed in ripped jeans and Nirvana shirt, talking about evil cake-eaters." As he talked, Jesse reached into Adam's backpack and pulled out my bandana, which I don't remember putting in there, and tied it around Adam's head. "Now, doesn't he look ridiculous?"

Adam looked so ridiculous, I couldn't help but laugh. Jesse smiled.

"Exactly, he looks silly, which in all honesty is how you look right now," Jesse said.

"You can't expect Lane to just say the right things because he doesn't know you. When I joined the Ducks, what was really irritating was that they wouldn't pass me the puck, because as much as I was a cake-eater I was also good hockey player and they knew that. All Lane knows is what he saw about the Goodwill Games. He knows you are a Bash Brother and was expecting that. You have to give him a chance to know the real you."

"Why does it matter what I tell him? I don't even know if I want him to like me," I said.

"I don't think you would be here, dressed as a cake-eater if you didn't want to make a good impression," Jesse said.

"Well, now he's just going to think I'm some sort of angry maniac."

"And you're not?" Jesse offered. Adam groaned, while I glared. "Seriously though, whatever craziness you've got hidden, you should tell him. Adam brought your real clothes. You should change into them and come back out."

I nodded. They left the room while I changed. As I tied my bandana around my head, I couldn't help but think it was amazing how well they had read my emotions. I could usually fend off Bryn's inquiries and of course there was Fulton, but I was never close enough to anyone else for them to try. That Adam and Jesse would pick up on so much was surprising.

I glanced down at myself back in my clothes. I can do this. If I can't tell the brother I once idolize about what had happened to our family, then who could I tell?

I walked out of the room to find Adam and Jesse waiting for me. I followed them back downstairs.

Coach and Lane were sitting in awkward silence. Coach also looked a little surprised to see me standing there.

"Hey Coach, we could use some help up in the storage room," Jesse said. I was thankful for Jesse's obvious attempt to let me have a one-on-one conversation.

Coach Bombay wasn't so sure. He glanced between me and my brother nervously. He stared at me for a minute before giving in and heading upstairs. Adam and Jesse followed him.

I sat once again in front of Lane. He looked at me waiting for me to speak.


End file.
